e it known that on the TwentySixth Day of February in the Year 1997 Shaughan Feakes attained the Venerable Age of Fifty Years, in Recognition of the which he would like to give Earnest Thanks to those Personages to whom he is Greatly Indebted for their Multifarious Assistance in helping his Achievement of this Revered State, Viz & to Wit, his Bank Manager, his Solicitor, his Doctor, his Mother, his Newsagent, his Internet Service Provider, his Father, his Member of Parliament, all those Motorists who have courteously Refrained from driving over him in their Vehicles, & cetera & cetera.